Running on empty

For some reason, quite often when I'm driving to church, this light pops up on my dashboard:

I swear it only comes on whilst I'm making my journey to church but I normally don't think much of it other than "Urgh, not again!!"

However yesterday was different. This symbol lit up in front of me and I'm pretty sure I literally said out loud: "Yeah, me too".

I am getting to that point where I literally feel like I am running on empty. I mean, my life is pretty good don't get me wrong, I am so thankful for all I've been blessed with, but sometimes I just get so tired. Tired of deadlines, tired of rejections, tired of maybe's, tired of running around, tired of being accused, tired of being lonely, tired of illness, tired of not knowing, tired of goodbyes.. you get the point. And sometimes where it hits the hardest is spiritually. And spiritually running out of fuel is the worst! 

When you pray and pray for something and nothing happens, when you feel like you're so close to your prayer being answered and then it falls out from underneath you. It seems that all the things in life that knock us back, naturally fall back on our faith, because what better way for darkness to take over the light than when your light starting to fade anyway? What better way for evil to twist your thoughts and emotions than when you're out of control of them? In the chaos of the storm it is so easy to drift far away from God, almost without even knowing it.

If you have read this so far and thought, "yep, I know that feeling", then I want to encourage you to look at it from the perspective of light and not dark. Instead of automatically thinking the worst of a situation and assuming God is punishing you, take a step back and look at it through the lens of Jesus. Thing's really aren't as bad as they seem when you do that, if you run towards Him instead of turning away then only good can come from it. You run out of fuel from running away, or giving up. 

God uses all things for good, so think about how He is, or can, use your situation, whatever it may be, for good. The more you run towards him and anchor yourself in him, the more you will see light take over the darkness, your fuel light will turn off and you will be overflowing. 

"...The Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God.

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters. And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified.

What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all – how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. Who then is the one who condemns? No one. Christ Jesus who died – more than that, who was raised to life – is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written:

‘For your sake we face death all day long;

    we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.’

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

-Romans 8:26-39

Trusting in trust

I'm just gonna jump right in and say that completely handing my life over to God was one of the hardest things I've ever done. To say; "God, I totally trust you, I let go of my life and offer it to you" was difficult. How do I know that by trusting God everything will work out fine? How do I know that he won't just leave me in the dark? How do I know he will help me make the right decisions? I don't. And I guess that's why they call it trust.

Trust:
'trʌst'
noun
Firm belief in the reliability, truth, or ability of someone or something.

Faith:
'feɪθ'
noun
Complete trust or confidence in someone or something.

Its interesting when you look up the synonyms for these words because they're practically identical:

Trust: confidence, belief, faith, freedom from suspicion/doubt, sureness, certainty, certitude, assurance, conviction, credence, reliance.

Faith: trust, belief, confidence, conviction, credence, reliance, dependence; optimism, hopefulness, hope, expectation.

Trust plays a huge part when it comes to faith. So how can you sustain a strong faith and relationship with God if you haven't completely surrendered to him and trusted him with all that you are?

You may be reading this thinking "that's great for you sounds like you and God are mega tight and it's come easily"- you couldn't be more wrong. I know that in my life at the moment there are several things I'm trusting into God's hands. And its SO hard but SO wonderful. Its amazing having faith that he's got it under control but my goodness, at times I've cried out to him saying "where are you? You promised you would make my paths straight but I currently can't even see one step in front of the other." What I find most difficult is trusting Him but not seeing instant results. When I know his promises but I have to wait for an unknown amount of time before I can see them fulfilled.
But I guess that's why they call it trust.

I think trust is one of the areas evil likes to try and grasp hold of and twist, because it has such a close relationship with faith. Ruin one and you've got a firm grip on them both. The devil will find a way to attack- those thoughts of 'what if' and 'it's been too long God's obviously forgotten' and 'this promise will never be fulfilled'- thats evil sneaking its way in. I know because I have thought these things for myself, and its knocked me down time and time again. I am far from a negative person but when something I care about so much seems to be going in the opposite direction to what I believe God wants and what I want, I start to doubt my trust in God all together. Doubt my trust and I doubt my faith, doubt my faith and the devils found a way in.

I guess what I'm trying to say is this: (and I suppose I am kind of writing this for my own benefit as well as to benefit others because it's also what I need to hear - practice what you preach and all that.) 

Don't lose your trust in God just because you can't see the finish line. It's there, sometimes it's far off, sometimes its closer than you think. But from experience, the moment you let go of earthly strength and grasp hold of heavenly strength, things start to fall into place.

I just want to encourage you to lean back and let God catch you, He really does have it under control and if you place your trust in him and offer him your all, he will bless that. Just remember that with this trust you have to put up with God's timing. It's a pain in the butt but its blessed so who am I to argue? Just because it's not happening when you want it to, doesn't mean it won't happen at all. Trust in our ALL KNOWING, ALL SEEING God. He's not gonna let you down.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight."
-Proverbs 3:5-6

Jesus spoke to me about this whilst I was out chasing the sunset the other evening. I strongly recommend and encourage you take time out to seek God and try to hear his voice, he's got some pretty awesome stuff to say.