I've only seen one or two scary films, but that was when I was about 16 years old and for the majority of them I had my face covered anyway, so what I create in my mind is certainly not from earthly experiences.
Of course I pray and I put on worship music and praise God and I try everything in an attempt to rid my mind of these terrible emotions- but I can't, they don't go until I wake up the next morning and its light again.
The reason I am writing about this is down to a conversation I had with a good Christian friend of mine recently about my awful home alone (/generally anything to do with the dark) habits and I remember feeling like a terrible follower of Christ. I remember thinking "If I am walking in the light at all times then why does darkness scare me so?" "If I believe that I'm constantly surrounded by the Trinity then why do all these demonic thoughts go through my mind?" "People must think I'm not fully trusting in God" "Am I fully trusting in God?"... oh my, I started doubting my faith, my life, my sanity! I didn't come to any conclusions during this conversation but since then I have really been praying into it- I know these thoughts and feelings aren't from God, so why can't I shake them?
To try and re-gain my own confidence in my faith I started to think and pray about the areas of my life that Jesus is so present, and the obvious one that stood out was my dreams. So vivid, so memorable, so blessed. I started to think about why God chose dreams as a way to talk to me- and I guess its obvious- I'm a creative, always have been and always will be, so the best way to communicate with me is through dreams, through pictures and colours and movements... my imagination is like that of a child, it has no boundaries and I've often got lost within it. This is the most powerful tool God has to talk to me.... so why would the devil pass up an opportunity like trying to interfere with that and claim it as his own? Boom; Thank you Jesus for the power of realisation.
Figuring that out is not an instant fix. Just the thought of the dark still makes me nervous but at least I can deal with it knowing that 1. I'm not losing my mind, 2. My faith and relationship with Jesus is still very much going strong, and 3. Its just the devil trying to break the bond between me and my Heavenly Father. It's a battle that's ongoing on earth but in heaven its already won- darkness has been defeated by light.
Whenever you start to doubt your faith or wonder why you're thinking or feeling something that's clearly not from God, really pray into what could be causing it. If it's not good, it's not from God. Chances are its evil attacking and grabbing hold of the most precious connection between you and your Father. In my case it was my creativity and my imagination, but each relationship is different and tailor made to you. Don't jump to conclusions and assume it's God forgetting about you or testing you or that you're not good enough, cause then you're allowing darkness to cast shadows onto His light.
Never lose sight of God and the incredible things he's doing in your life. Never let evil grasp onto the things that bond you and Jesus so closely together, never assume anything when it comes to you and your faith, remember He uses ALL things for good, never give in, never give up, never forget that darkness has been defeated.
"I lift up my eyes to the mountains –
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord,
the Maker of heaven and earth.
He will not let your foot slip –
he who watches over you will not slumber;
Indeed, he who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.
The Lord watches over you –
the Lord is your shade at your right hand;
the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.
The Lord will keep you from all harm –
he will watch over your life;
the Lord will watch over your coming and going
both now and for evermore."
-Psalm 121
